Day 6: Pleasing People

We touched on people pleasing a bit in one of the previous devos, but right now I want to focus on the subject alone. If you are like me, you are a people pleaser, you want everyone to be happy, you don’t like disappointing anyone, especially the people you love. I don’t think I understood how detrimental people pleasing was, until I realized that I lived off the approval of others. I enjoyed the gratification from people, but also I just wanted everyone to be happy. That meant putting their happiness, and well-being above and before mine, sometimes placing them above myself. Seeing myself as less than not equal to another human being. It got to a point where I did not know how to say no, I lost myself, and it felt like I was being pulled in every direction because all I wanted was for people to be happy. Or atleast that what I said. For some reason I felt like I owed something to people. I realized that for me, pleasing people was a way for me to fill the voids within myself, and those voids were so much deeper than I could have ever imagined.

Galatians 1:10

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Colossians 3:23

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

Romans 13:8

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.  

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Who are we really trying to please by being a good and selfless person. I feel like we often look for validation from others to fill a void within ourselves, that can only be filled by one thing, or one person, God. God is the only one we should seek to please because man will never be satisfied. No matter how much we do or get, we are constantly changing and moving on to the next thing, we are always needing and wanting something different. We are in a constant search for validation and completion. These two things are only found on Christ, God completes us, He is our validation. The sooner we realize that we will stop seeking to please man, we will know that what we are looking for is so much deeper than a moment of gratification.

Pleasing man means we are not putting our focus on God, as servants of Christ or Christians our main focus and priority should be Christ. No one or nothing should come before him. When we are focused on pleasing people we are seeking the approval of man, and not Christ. In the end that is all that matters, man cannot get us into heaven.

Another part of people pleasing comes unintentionally, it’s the fact that we don’t want to let the people we love down. There is nothing wrong with that, but something that we must understand, is that we cannot make everyone happy while at the same time trying to maintain our own happiness. We want to keep our parents happy, we want to make them proud, and we do. But when we sacrifice who we are it can turn into heartbreak. I strongly doubt the people we love want us to be unhappy for their sake. I get wanting to make your parents proud and not wanting to let down the people you love. But when God is top of that list, when following Christ and seeking him first is number one, then everything after that will fall into place.  The only thing we owe man is love, and when we do things out of love and not because we want approval, or gratification, or reciprocation, that’s when it becomes selfless. People pleasing was not about someone else to begin with, it is about filling a void within us, it is about needing approval and gratification from others, but if we never get the approval, or the gratification, or the reciprocation, would it still be worth it?

Reflection

1. Are you a people pleaser and who are the people you aim to please the most?
2. What voids are you trying to fill, if any?
3. Is Christ your  top priority?

Prayer Time

Sit down and focus on God, as you pray be honest with God, if you have discovered anything about yourself today, let it out. Talk to God about what you are feeling. Be honest, and remember, prayer is just a conversation with God.