Day 13: Comparison
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, compare is a transitive verb that means, to examine the character or qualities of especially in order to discover resemblances or differences : to view in relation to.
As young adults this is something we struggle with so much. It is so hard not compare yourself to others, but it’s even harder when other people compare you. We see qualities in others, that we want. As we go through our twenties we are figuring life out, we are on a search to find ourselves. But we are all moving at different paces. Some of us have already gotten the majority of our life together, some of us are still picking up the pieces to puzzle it together, and some of us are somewhere in between. As we continue to grow and we see others moving faster than us, we start to compare our lives to the people around us. We want our lives to look similar to someone else’s because we see the benefit. We see what they have reaped. We don’t always see what they sow. Sometimes we can be so focused on someone else, and trying to imitate their life or lifestyle, that we forget we have a life of our own. We think that our peers are doing so much better than us, and why we can’t be like them. We just want to have a perfect life, we all do. We have this idea of ‘having it all together.’ at a certain age we have to have everything together in our lives, or... Or what? What will happen if we don't get it all together your deadline? Will we just stop all together or will we regret not going the same route as our peers, who seem to have it all together. The moment we see someone else has it all together we desire be like them. We want what they have, and we start to compare our lives and journeys to the next person. That's here we go wrong.
It is not always us comparing ourselves to others, many times it is outsiders. When your parents compare you to your friends, or hearing “why don’t you do what this person is doing?” “You should start dressing like her/him.” “All your friends are settling down and getting married, when is it your turn?” We get compared to our friends, our siblings, our parents, even our ancestors. As millennials we are compared to the previous generations, who think we need to be more like them, but that is a topic for another day. Many times we even compare our Christian walk with other Christians. We look at how people pray, how much they know about the bible, how many people they talk to about Jesus. How many scriptures they have memorized and automatically think that our walk with Christ should look like theirs.
The main point here is that when we compare ourselves to others we are seeking to imitate a lifestyle that was never meant for us. We are trying to create and live a life that is not ours. It’s some fantasy of what a “perfect” life looks like.
Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility.
Why do we compare? Is it because we feel like we aren’t good enough or too good? When we compare ourselves to others we either, look at ourselves as higher or lower than someone else.
Comparison can lead to envy, we see this in the story of Cain and Abel. Cain saw that he did not get the same response from God that his brother got. So out of anger he killed him. Comparison can lead to insecurity. We may even find ourselves going through an identity crisis. Comparison leads to so many inner problems because that is where our focus lies when we are comparing ourselves to others. We are so focused on ourselves that we become unhappy with the person we are because we are looking at an image of ourselves and trying to fine tune it to be some perfect image of us someone else. We are trying to create something or someone we’re not. At the end of the day we will realize that no matter how much we compare ourselves to the next person it will never equal a perfect life.
Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
How about we look away from ourselves. How about we get out of ourselves and focus on someone else, When we are caught up in just being who God created us to be, living in the will of God we don’t have time to focus on what someone else is doing, or what we aren’t doing. We are just living the life God gave us.
So who should we compare ourselves to? I’m glad you asked…
Jesus! The only person we should look at and what to be exactly like. We want the lifestyle Jesus leads.
1 Corinthians 11:1
Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.
Ephesians 5:1-2
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
If we are going to compare ourselves to anyone it should be Jesus.
Reflection
- Who do you find that you compare yourself to the most?
- Why do you feel you have to compare yourself to others.
- How do you feel when you are compared to other people? (ex. When your family compares your life choices to your friend’s) How does that affect you?
- What would life be like if you focus more on others, not to compare but as a selfless act?
Prayer Time
Meditate on these scriptures, and ask God to show you what it means to be an imitator of Christ. Use the answers to the questions to guide this prayer. Talk to him about whatever is on your heart at the moment, be completely open and honest. Remember that prayer is just a conversation with God.
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