Day 26: Walls

Wall(s)

• a rampart raised for defensive purposes.
• an immaterial or intangible barrier, obstruction, etc.

Our Generation does not like to be vulnerable, we spit on feelings. We want to be seen as tough and careless. We act as if nothing gets to us but deep down we’re hurting, we’re being torn apart. But we refuse to let it show, instead we  build (metaphorical) walls. We build walls around our hearts to protect ourselves. What we don’t realize is that building a wall to cover up the pain is like putting a band-aid on a wound that needs stitches, it'll fix it temporarily but it will never heal completely.

In our twenties we will face a ton of pain, and heartbreak, and that is what drives us to harden our hearts to the point that we let no one in. As a defense mechanism, we isolate ourselves out of the fear that we will be hurt. We anticipate that people are out to get us before we know for sure. Therefore we try to protect ourselves before anything happens. We give only a glimpse of who we really are so that no one can judge us. We wear a mask so that no one can see the real pain. We make ourselves numb to any type of feeling so we won’t feel the pain.  Sometimes we’ve built our walls so high that we won’t even let God in, the one person we can fully trust with our heart is the person we hide it from. We refuse to give him the pieces to repair, when we know only He can do it. Why is that?

Psalms 147:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Ezekial 36:26

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

If we know that God is a healer, He can love us pass the pain, and that He will never hurt us, why do we hide from Him? Why do we turn away from healing when we need it the most?

I remember being sixteen and giving my life to Christ. I was in so much pain, this pain is what led me to Christ, I was completely and utterly broken. I had no idea who I was or where I was going, all I knew is that I was hurting and covering it up wasn’t helping anymore, I was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I had built so many walls, and hid behind so many different identities, and I was comfortable in the little shell I was in. No one could reach me to hurt me, but that did not change the fact that I was hurting. All it did was build, and before I knew it I exploded everything that I had been hiding, all the pain that turned into anger just came out, and it left me feeling empty. I had to make a conscious decision to allow Christ into my heart to heal me.

-Dyamond 

We have gotten comfortable behind our walls, life has gotten bearable and the pain has eased enough for us to get through the day. We find a glimpse of happiness and moments when we can genuinely smile. But we have so many walls around our heart that we sometimes forget that they are there. We convince ourselves that we are okay when we are not. We're “fine”, even though we’re crying on the inside. We’re alright until someone asks us if we’re alright. Friends, that is not how we are supposed to live. Just because the pain is bearable doesn’t mean we that we have to carry it. We don’t have to walk around with a heavy heart, we don’t have to walk around suffering because we’re afraid to ask for help. Our healing is in Jesus. When we can’t turn to anyone we can turn to God. Why is it that so often He is our last resort. He loves us so much, He doesn’t want to see us in pain. We have to open ourselves up to Him, because if we don’t we will only destroy ourselves. No one can sooth the pain like Jesus, no one can love us like God. Nothing can take the place of God in our hearts no matter how hard we try. He can rip through the walls to reach us, but will we take His hand or continue building walls. He can take the pieces of our heart and make it new, He can take the heart of stone and make it a heart of flesh, and not only that, He will protect our hearts. When we give our lives to Christ we give our hearts to Him, every inch of it, even if it’s in pieces, because He can repair it. He can love us through the pain, He can love us through the anger, His love can tear our walls down. Whatever it may be, give it to God, we don’t have the bear the pain of a broken heart because God is our healer. Whatever is broken, He can fix it, we just have to be willing to let Him do it.

Reflection/Prayer Time

After reading today, check in with yourself. Are you okay, if you are hurting right now, or find that you have isolated yourself out of fear of being hurt, surrender it all to God. Whatever you are going through lay it at the cross, know that you do not have to go life constantly hurting. Give your heart to God even if it’s in pieces, He can mend it for you. Open your heart to God, let down your walls, let Him in. Surrender it all to Him, let Him take the burdens and the pain, it’s no longer yours. Trust in the healing power of Jesus Christ, He will make you whole.