Day 179: #LoveYourself Part 2

Mark 12:31

The second is this: ‘You should love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.

Ephesians 5:29

For no one has ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it, as the Messiah does the church.

Psalms 139:14

I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.

Today we are taking it all the way back to the beginning, 171 days ago, but who's counting. On day seven of the devotional we started a little series on self love and this specific day was about loving yourself. I’m going to bring that theme back today and talk about loving the person you are from the inside, but also loving who you are on the outside. Being comfortable in your own skin and loving the person you are and not trying to shape and mould yourself into something or someone you think you should be. The goal of today is for us to be comfortable with who we are, and see that we are beautifully and wonderfully made.

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”

– Diane Von Furstenberg

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my twenty four years of living is to love myself and be comfortable with who I am. I spent so much time trying to change who I was an hating myself and not being comfortable in my own skin that I didn’t know what it meant to actually love myself. I didn’t know how to appreciate the body, the hair, the skin tone, the looks, the personality, or the gifts that God gave me. This as a result of me being bullied and blaming myself for being bullied. I hated who I was at a very young age, so I grew up very insecure, I hated my appearance, I hated my skin color, my hair, my height, everything about me I hated. But I loved acting because it gave me a chance to be someone else, that I could possibly fall in love with. Over the years as I’ve grown closer to God and closer to myself (I know that sounds weird but bear with me), I’ve learned that God made me who I am on purpose, He gave me this beautiful dark skin on purpose, this kinky-curly hair, that was on purpose too. My short stature, He gave that to me too. He created me in His image, in His hands, and I thank Him for that. I thank Him for showing me how to love who I am.

I believe that as people we are meant to love ourselves, if we don’t we cannot learn to love anyone else. As we pointed out in Day 7, Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourself. Now call me crazy but i think that there is a demand in there to love ourselves. Jesus doesn’t say things on accident, and we tend to overlook the part that says “...As yourself”. But once we truly love ourselves we will be able to spread that love and pour it onto others. My mom used to always say, “hurt people, hurt people” meaning we tend to throw our own insecurities and our own heartache and pain on others. We project ourselves onto other people. How we treat ourselves is often how we treat others. So just imagine, if we are loving ourselves and feeling confident and beautiful, and good about the skin we are in. Thankful for who we are, and the life we live. How do you think we are going to treat others?

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” and Mark Twain said, “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

We call the shots, we are responsible for our own happiness, we are responsible for loving ourselves. I am going to say that loving yourself is a human responsibility. We are not always going to get compliments but that doesn’t mean we are not beautiful and handsome. One of things I pray is that God will help me to do is, be comfortable in my own skin. He has given us freedom and a life to live abundantly, the only one who can limit that is us. We have to learn to accept and love every part about us, the weird parts, the crazy parts, the parts that others will hate. Life is about freedom, live freely and be yourself. I truly believe that God gave us all different personalities, He gave us all different looks, shapes, and sizes and He loves it. We are all a melting pot of diversity, we don’t look the same, or act the same. How boring would that be. So let’s love ourselves, Be comfortable with who we are and who God made us to be.

Reflection

1. Are you comfortable in your own skin?
2. Do you love yourself?
3. List everything you love about yourself, and remind yourself everyday that you are beautiful or you are handsome, and you are who God made you to be.

Prayer Time

Allow your answers to the above questions guide your prayer. Ask God to help you learn to love yourself or continue to love yourself.

If this is a area you struggle in or have a hard time with, please do not hesitate to contact me with questions or concerns. I will answer them and talk to you and share with you.

I love you, know that your are beautiful on the inside and out. You are gorgeous, Make sure you share this with someone and come back tomorrow for Day 180!

Day 162: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Psalms 139:13-14

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Something we don’t hear enough is, “you’re beautiful” or “You’re handsome”. I think as the church we tend to neglect the idea of self-esteem when it comes to beauty. We tend to beat around the bush when it comes to caring about our physical appearance. We as Christian are very focused on what’s on the inside, we don’t really focus on physical appearance. It’s more about what our heart looks like. While that is great and I do not want to discredit that in any way, I believe that it is important for people to be complimented. I feel that it is important for us as Christians to have confidence. I believe that we should be able to see ourselves as beautiful and not be accused of arrogance or cockiness.

God formed the innermost parts of us but He also formed the outermost parts of us. We were created by the greatest artist there is, was, and will be. We are the greatest work of His hands, made in His image. If that’s not beautiful I don’t know what is. I talk about this because I truly believe that we are beautiful people and we must believe that. It’s something that many people especially people in our generation suffer with. You’re beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you it’s just on the inside.

One of my favorite movies and musicals is The Color Purple. It’s a beautiful story, and a piece of the plot is a woman finding her own beauty and learning to own that. There is a point in the story where she can’t even look in the mirror for more than two seconds. She doesn’t see herself as beautiful because she has been told over and over that she was ugly. She has been beaten down all her life and eventually, she starts to believe it. I tell this story because there are too many people especially within the body of Christ, as I stated above, walking around with low self-esteem. There are too many people out there who don’t believe that they are beautiful. I’m talking about the men too, especially men, they get overlooked too often. We all need to hear it at one point or another. It’s one thing to think but ti believes it is different. I grew up being bullied really bad, I was called ugly every day for years and I heard that word so much that I eventually started to believe it. This is why hearing it is important.

I feel like a lot of people are opposed to Christians being attractive, especially if they’re pastors. Like, people are really shocked when they see a pastor who is attractive. It’s interesting like it’s almost a sin in the world for a Christ follower to be hot. Our beauty isn’t just on the inside, we are human just like the next person, and there is nothing wrong with being told you’re beautiful, feeling beautiful, or wanting to be told you’re beautiful.

Back to the story of the color purple. In the musical at one point the actress playing the lead sings a song, and in the middle of that songs she looks out into the audience and says, “I’m beautiful”, not once but twice. The actress Cynthia Erivo who plays the role talks about this moment in the play. She discusses how we need to hear this statement more often and how we do not hear it enough. I believe that we are fearfully and wonderfully made and we have to believe that to be true in every part of our lives.

All this to say, have confidence, know that you are beautiful. Start to see yourself as more than just a beautiful person on the inside but know that God has made you and there you are the most beautiful thing ever. You’re beautiful on the inside but you’re also beautiful on the outside. Believe that.

Reflection

Take the time today to look in the mirror and say, I’m “beautiful” or ‘I’m handsome”, gorgeous, pretty, stunning, cute, whatever word you choose. Then compliment someone, make someone feel good about themselves today and every day following.

Prayer Time

Take the time to pray that God boosts the confidence of His people. Have a conversation with Him about what we talked about today.

I love you, I hope you have an amazing day or evening. Be sure to share this with someone and come back tomorrow for Day 163!

Day 13: Comparison

Day 13: Comparison

“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, compare is a transitive verb that means, to examine the character or qualities of especially in order to discover resemblances or differences : to view in relation to.

As young adults this is something we struggle with so much. It is so hard not compare yourself to others, but it’s even harder when other people compare you. We see qualities in others, that we want. As we go through our twenties we are figuring life out, we are on a search to find ourselves. But we are  all moving at different paces. Some of us have already gotten the majority of our life together, some of us are still picking up the pieces to puzzle it together, and some of us are somewhere in between. As we continue to grow and we see others moving faster than us, we start to compare our lives to the people around us. We want our lives to look similar to someone else’s because we see the benefit. We see what they have reaped. We don’t always see what they sow. Sometimes we can be so focused on someone  else, and trying to imitate their life or lifestyle, that we forget we have a life of our own. We think that our peers are doing so much better than us, and why we can’t be like them. We just want to have a perfect life, we all do. We have this idea of ‘having it all together.’ at a certain age we have to have everything together in our lives, or... Or what? What will happen if we don't get it all together your deadline? Will we just stop all together or will we regret not going the same route as our peers, who seem to have it all together. The moment we see someone else has it all together we desire be like them. We want what they have, and we start to compare our lives and journeys to the next person. That's here we go wrong.

It is  not always us comparing ourselves to others, many times it is outsiders. When your parents compare you to your friends, or hearing “why don’t you do what this person is doing?” “You should start dressing like her/him.” “All your friends are settling down and getting married, when is it your turn?” We get compared to our friends, our siblings, our parents, even our ancestors. As millennials we are compared to the previous generations, who think we need to be more like them, but that is a topic for another day.  Many times we even compare our Christian walk with other Christians. We look at how people pray, how much they know about the bible, how many people they talk to about Jesus. How many scriptures they have memorized and automatically think that our walk with Christ should look like theirs.

The main point here is that when we compare ourselves to others we are seeking to imitate a lifestyle that was never meant for us. We are trying to create and live a life that is not ours. It’s some fantasy of what a “perfect” life looks like.

Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others.  Assume your own responsibility.

Why do we compare? Is it because we feel like we aren’t good enough or too good? When we compare ourselves to others we either, look at ourselves as higher or lower than someone else.

Comparison can lead to envy, we see this in the story of Cain and Abel. Cain saw that he did not get the same response from God that his brother got. So out of anger he killed him. Comparison can lead to insecurity. We may even find ourselves going through an identity crisis. Comparison leads to so many inner problems because that is where our focus lies when we are comparing ourselves to others. We are so focused on ourselves that we become unhappy with the person we are because we are looking at an image of ourselves and trying to fine tune it to be some perfect image of us someone else. We are trying to create something or someone we’re not.  At the end of the day we will realize that no matter how much we compare ourselves to the next person it will never equal a perfect life.

Philippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

 

How about we look away from ourselves. How about we get out of ourselves and focus on someone else, When we are caught up in just being who God created us to be, living in the will of God we don’t have time to focus on what someone else is doing, or what we aren’t doing. We are just living the life God gave us.  

So who should we compare ourselves to? I’m glad you asked…

Jesus! The only person we should look at and what to be exactly like. We want the lifestyle Jesus leads.

1 Corinthians 11:1

Be imitators of me as I am of Christ.

Ephesians 5:1-2

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

If we are going to compare ourselves to anyone it should be Jesus.

Reflection

1. Who do you find that you compare yourself to the most?
2. Why do you feel you have to compare yourself to others.
3. How do you feel when you are compared to other people? (ex. When your family compares your life choices to your friend’s) How does that affect you?
4. What would life be like if you focus more on others, not to compare but as a selfless act?

Prayer Time

Meditate on these scriptures, and ask God to show you what it means to be an imitator of Christ. Use the answers to the questions to guide this prayer. Talk to him about whatever is on your heart at the moment, be completely open and honest. Remember that prayer is just a conversation with God.

Day 10: Believing in Ourselves?

What does it mean when we say we believe in ourselves, do we believe that we can reach the dreams we aspire to reach or do we depend solely upon ourselves to get us there. If the answer is the latter than we have it all wrong. We cannot get anywhere without God. He is the source of our very being, we cannot breathe without Him. And if we can't do that on our own how are we going to get through life on our own? The simple answer is that we can't. 

I grew up being taught by teachers to always believe in myself, to trust myself, to believe and you can achieves. They told me, whatever you set your mind to, you can do, just believe. You can imagine my disappointment when I wasn't a big Disney Channel start with my own television show by the time I was 14. They just told me to believe in myself, to believe that I could do, focus and you will get there. My family taught me to pray. As I got older my perspective begin to change, and I found the source of my problem, pride. I felt like I could do everything on my own, I didn't need help from anyone I had myself and my dream and that was all I needed. I was going to make it to the top and everyone was going to know that my success was self-made. I prayed occasionally when I felt like I really needed God to get me what I wanted. I cannot tell you how wrong I was, when my focus began to shift off myself and focus on God, and entire new plan was revealed. When my vocabulary changed from, I can to God can, my life started to change. I began to realize that I was not meant to take on the world, I cannot go through life alone. I thought I could, and that was the very thing that broke me, because my pride had been built up for so long that it took me a while for me to believe that God could even do things for me. I was that person that always had to know what was going on, and where I was going, but when I put my faith in Christ all of the changed. I began to understand that my plan may look easier than His, but His is way better.

Philippians 4:11-13

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Paul is writing to the Philippians here, and he’s saying, I know how to be content. I know what it’s like to have a lot and to have nothing at all, And he goes into the last statement by saying I have learned the secret of facing this. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. In other words, he’s saying I cannot be content on my own, I cannot face these life struggles, and the sustain the blessings you give on my own. I’m running on your strength God, I need it to survive the good times and the bad times. I need you to live!

I think we love the idea of believing in ourselves until we need someone else to depend on because depending on ourselves is no longer working. That’s when we turn to God, when we can’t handle it anymore. We must learn to stop using God as a tool. We tend to find the place in our lives where God “fits” and keep Him there because that’s where and when we need Him the most. Often times we use God to get what we want, or we try to put Him on a leash. Almost as if we are saying, "okay God I will let you take me so far, but I got it from here. I don't need you anymore I can handle it now, thanks for the ride." As I've mentioned before, we have to let go of what we want for ourselves and trust that whatever God is doing, it's better. I think the problem with believing solely in ourselves is that, in our eyes, we become invincible. We can do anything, and go anywhere because we believe we can, we start to believe that we are untouchable. Some places we aren't meant to go and some things we are not meant to do, at that point in time.

If we believe that we can can do all things through Christ, then it is possible. It's called faith. But when we decide that we can do it alone, apart from God that's when we  start to stumble. There is nothing wrong with believing in your abilities, but remember who gave you those abilities. We are here by the grace of God, we are not here on our own doing, we are here because God wants us in the place and position we are in. We can believe in ourselves all we want but without Christ we have no power, we cannot do anything without him Our hope is in the Lord not ourselves. It is through faith that we are given the strength to live, that we are given the ability to be better than who we were. As we take the focus off of ourselves and put it into Christ, we will find ourselves doing things we never thought we would do. We will find ourselves in positions we could only have ever dreamed of being in. When we give ourselves up to Christ, what we get in return is beyond us. We must choose to give up trusting in ourselves and trust in God and the outcome will be a million times greater than what we thought we could do on our own. Life is just so much better with Christ.

Reflection

Today just shift your focus from self to God. Make that slight change in your vocabulary to choose to trust God over self.

Prayer Time

If this message spoke to you today, or it didn’t as much. Talk to God about it. Talk to God about how you are feeling. This is just a conversation between you and Him. You can write it down, or you can speak. However the spirit leads you, just let the Holy Spirit guide your prayer today.

Day 9: Self-esteem

Day 9: Self-Esteem/Self-Worth

- confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self respect.

-synonyms- self-respect, pride, dignity, self-regard, faith in oneself; morale, self-confidence, confidence, self-assurance.

-Antonyms- self-deprecation

-self deprecation- belittling or devaluing oneself, excessive modesty.

Self esteem and self worth go hand-in-hand. I think this is very important to address this topic especially for us in our twenties. Self-esteem issues are another thing that, if we have them, can start at a very young age. For me, it started at the age of five and did not get better until recently and honestly it is still something that I struggle with. For me it was being bullied for so long, being called ugly everyday by my peers. It was implanted in me at a very young age, and I started to believe it. Due to this I felt worthless, I felt as if I wasn't good enough or I was always going to be the "ugly black girl" who couldn't speak up or stand up for herself. Honestly my self-esteem did not start to grown until I met Christ, at 16, and started to understand what I am worth, and that I need to be confident in the body God gave me, as well as start to believe in the person He made me to be.
-Dyamond

Psalm 139:14

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.1

gWonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well

Matthew 6:26

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

We are made in the image of God. Made in His beautiful glowing image. I like to think of God as an artist and we are His greatest creation. The earth was like a blank canvas before creation and He came and made it beautiful. He created something beautiful. And then, He made us, after all the beauty He had just created He created something even more beautiful, man. And He said it was good.

As young Christians we are bombarded with commands that involve humility and modesty. At first sight of self-worth or increase on confidence we are told not to be arrogant or conceited, we are told to "humble yourself" we are told to be and dress modest. This can take a toll on our self-worth because we try so hard to meet these “Christian standards” set by our elders. We try not to dress a certain way because that’s what it means to be modest, if you’ve ever heard the saying “modest is hottest” you know what I am speaking about. We take compliments lightly because we don’t want to be seen at less than humble. This gives us a warped view of humility, we foil compliments and downplay ourselves in the name of humility.  We start to believe that our worth is based on what we look like as a Christian, and how others view us. None of these things should determine our self-worth. Our confidence comes from Christ and the fact that He loves us so much.  I mean He gave His only son for us, we must be worth something. Jesus laid down His life for us while we were still in sin. That’s how much we mean to Him.

That’s where our self-worth should originate, we find our identities in Christ, therefore we should find our worth and confidence in Him as well.. Christ views us as worthy, He sees the beauty in us. He doesn’t tear us down because of our flaws, He loves us through them. If God, who created us, doesn’t choose to point out, everything wrong with us, why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we tear ourselves down so much? We must learn to see ourselves through the eyes of God. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and seeing beauty in yourself, and having self worth. When we start to view ourselves the way God views us and understand just how much we mean to Him our confidence will skyrocket. There is a difference between being conceited and confident. Just because we are confident does not mean we lack humility. It’s all about what we feed ourselves, what we speak over our lives. The tongue is a very powerful weapon, and if we constantly view ourselves as less, or speak to ourselves as if we don’t matter, or that we are ugly, or worthless. We will start to believe it. When we are truly practicing Godly confidence it’s not just about how we view ourselves.

We, as humans, tend to project our image of ourselves onto others. When we see how beautifully and wonderfully made we are, we will start to see it in others. But it starts at home. We must learn to love ourselves.

Reflection

1. How do you view yourself?
2. Write down all the things you love about yourself. Look in the mirror and remember you are made in God’s image. What does that mean to you?
3. Speak highly of yourself today, and every other day. Accept, a compliment, give a compliment.

Prayer time

Allow your answer to the above question guide your prayer. Talk to God about your self worth, and how He sees you.

Share this with someone you know, especially those who need to hear it. and be sure to comeback tomorrow  for more. Thank you!